Remembering hope...

   I did something I said I would never do again. I got another tattoo. It so wasn't planned.  I want to tell you the story behind my piece of artwork and why it means so much to me. In April of 2013, I was diagnosed with clinical depression. I always had bouts of sadness since single digits of age that I did not understand. It got worse as a teen. I learned to hide behind a mask of I'm fine. October 2012 began a spiral of despair. I sought help in April after spending months crying , in bed, ignoring everyone and everything.

    

       One thing I do remember is my youngest daughter coming home one day and telling me about the semi- colon project in about November. I was so touched. You can read more about the movement  and story here. I toyed with the idea of a tattoo of the semi-colon but I wanted it to mean so much more so I never gave it a lot of thought. Fast forward to last week....I am sitting in my kitchen working on a puzzle with my friend Erin and her daughter when I came across this article about one of our favorite actors.  Yes I was being that awful friend checking facebook. 

{PAUSE} This is going to sound very fan girlish, but I halfheartedly keep up with the actors from Supernatural because they are generous, charitable human beings using their fame for good. And the TV show is AMAZING! {UNPAUSE}

That article can be seen here and here. After reading those, putting on a suck it up you cant cry in front of people face I handed my phone to Erin, who got misty eyed and I said Don't if you start , I'll start and I won't be able to stop.  Lucky for me she was a trooper. I knew right then though that is what I wanted paired with my semi-colon. I drew this up the next day...

   The flat line in the beginning is representing the months I lost, the blip representing the help I received and I wanted the wording to look like a heartbeat ending in the famous semi-colon. I have had mostly positive feedback about it from random strangers who know what the semi colon represents and was called an inspiration. I don't see it that way. This is my visual hope to not let this illness win the war, because even as I write this I am having a down day. It sucks and it affects everyone in family on these days. But we troop on and we #Alwayskeepfighting.

The impact of having a planner

I used to love my Dilbert Dayrunner planner. He stayed faithfully with me through high school. Then I had kids, then I moved to a foreign country where I didn't work and just raised them. He wasn't as useful anymore. He's still around in the capacity of an address book. I fell out of the habit of needing him. This last month I tried to revisit him and bring him back to life. Unfortunately, his parent company just didn't have anything to suit what I needed. Bummer I would have loved to use all his bells and whistles then it hit me. I really don't them. 

    Now with the movement towards planners and binders, I love me some of the companies out there. Again though, I just don't need all the detail planning that these companies offer. Lovely Bridgett said lets make our own. Well, I researched it and the problems I had were 1. just about EVERYTHING is printed on 8x10 format & 2. the few I did find for smaller sizes would still need a binder and this thing lives in my purse. Ladies you all know what abuse we put our things through in our purses and bags. A binder just wasn't going to work. 

Let me show you what I found that works for me. First some supplies, I decided on these 4 colors to use with my awesome calendar stamp set.

 

The set was given to me after a friend decided she no longer wanted it and I didn't think I would find a lot of uses for it but I made it hang around. Good thing too.They are the perfect size.

My only requirement was it had to have a monthly and a weekly calender.I had so much going on that a monthly just wasn't going to cut it. I found this beauty at Target for $7.99. 

   

 

The front of the cover slides out so I can personalize it with the crafty stash! YAY! Until I do though the manufactured one is pretty. I made 3 paper clip markers to mark sections off some areas of my binder.

I love that the tabs are monthly...and that the cover extends beyond them so no accidents to rip them off.

First, inside the cover I have my stickie note pad Bridgett made for me and the front page I use as a dashboard of sorts.

    

This planning page I believe I will use to jot blog ideas. I don't need a lot of room for that because as long as I don't forget the idea I will be ok.

   

Next is the monthly calendar where I stamp and color coded important things. I also highlighted all the holidays. Here I will just do a quick note , like Dr. Dentist etc

  

 

Then in the weekly I will write the important details....

     

There is another planning guide in the back and I plan on using that for ideas for possible you tube videos but I did such an awful job on the last one I may never do another one!

Some note pages and on the back of the last page I have my most frequently used addresses for quick on the go mailings.

The binder clip in the back holds important paper work

As an added bonus I can take this out when I get home and write the important things on our family calendar. That way even my husband can't say he doesn't know what I have going on!

There it is my planner and how I try to keep it all flowing together. Do you use a planner? If so whats your favorite brand?

How I lost 4 months of my life

I don't mean literally. I mean my blogging life. I had such good motivation and inspiration. Overnights were done, I had projects in mind, . and bam! It started, life in the most unexpected ways. 

 It began with a co-worker going into labor and me taking over her position while she was on maternity leave. By the time I got home, I was done. I cooked ,did laundry, did the mom thing, played taxi, etc. etc.

   Then guess what decided to make another appearance (4th time in 4 months)? Bronchitis. My doctor was getting a little tired of seeing me for this. Apparently, between October and January,  I don't have time to slow down and take care of myself~snicker~ Also, I am still being seen for my liver function, But I am happy to say the numbers are going down. My liver is repairing itself with some help. 

    My Children, boy where do I start there? Let's just say we have spent more time in the ER, doctors , and specialists then I EVER want to see again. We are still in the works of getting their health on track. K started it and M is finishing it strong. From pneumonia to worrisome health scares the last couple of months has been a hair pulling, disheartening, sometimes anger evoking, high blood pressure causing ride.

     The hustle is slowing down now. We are all finally working to new goals to stay healthy, financially, and sane. I look forward to sharing the journey along the way with a few crafty things thrown in.  I must know, when life throws curve balls your way what seems to fall through the cracks? How do you make time for yourself? And how do you continue to do it all?

Back to life

YAY! Overnights in Retail are OVER!  I can get back to a "normal" life. Or so I thought...I have bronchitis....AGAIN......3rd time in 4 months. The Doctor is not pleased with me. So trying to make the best out of forced (and trust me its forced, I do not like spending days on end just sitting) bed rest I thought let me work on getting my blog some love. Hello Blog I missed you!

For my first entry for 2015 I am revisiting my 2014 reading list with what I read crossed off, wanna see it here it goes:

1. The Star Wars Bounty Hunter Code . 
2. The book of Sith
3. Star Wars  Death Troopers
4. The Walking Dead the Fall of the Governor part2
5. a positive self talk book called Start my dear friend Desiree gave me.
6. A dance with dragons(games of thrones 5)
7. Alice in zombieland
8. Through the zombie glass
9. my camera manual

Pretty sad , huh? I did not do nearly as much reading as I would have liked. I need like timers set for everything for time management MY brain has so much buzzing in it that I never make time to just enjoy one thing , let alone read.  Well, no let me rephrase that I did read. I just started to re read older books. 7 books into the Left Behind series again. Thanks movie remake.  

I also started a book called Inside the Third Reich. I find the weirdest things fascinating and Nazi Germany has always been one. I want to know how humanity allowed things to happen, like trying to get into 1940s psyche.My father was always wondering why I was reading and studying that time period. I thank 3rd grade English and reading the Diary of Anne Frank for that one. 

My kiddos turned me on to a series called Quarantine. Somehow teenagers become deadly to adults and so they abandon  them in their  high school and the only way to survive is in gang like groups. That's really all I can say about it in a nutshell. Its pretty good. We just bought the 3rd and newest book in the series. Young adult fiction is pretty good these days.  Its not all Sweet Valley High....Although if any one knows how to get the complete set let me know.

So I did read more then 9 books, Just not what I said I would read, so let's not do a list this year. Maybe this year I will just write the list as I go and share it later. 

I am happy to report though I am almost done with the first book of the year.

HAPPY 2015 ! Go forth and be the change!

Let The Season begin!

I always felt that Halloween started the holiday season because Thanksgiving fast approaches followed by Christmas and New Years. Retail just kind of affirmed that in my head. No matter what your plans be safe and Have a Great night! Me I think I will just pass out candy and watch Halloween in the tube! Michael Myers is my boogie man!

Anyway Let me share with you my fun me in digi stamp wearing a daryl dixon riot tee!

Yup, I will riot if they kill off my favorite zombie slayer. He kicks butt! Are my walking dead peeps enjoying season 5? What are your thoughts so far?

Depression Sucks

The death of  one of the greatest actors comedians ever, Mr. Robin Williams, shook me to my core yesterday. When I read it was suicide I died a little inside. When I read it was caused by depression it took everything in me not to start bawling in the movie theater.  I was reading a lot of we had no idea, or  he had so much to live for.  Depression can affect anyone , at any time , at any age, and is a silent killer as we now know.  One quote I always see from him everywhere is

now I am not saying his family didn't love him. I am not saying he didn't love them. I am not even hinting they had marital issues. What I am saying is maybe they didn't get it. I have a husband who loves me endlessly but he doesn't get my depression and that feeling that you are all alone in world is quite overwhelming.
      In HIS head there was no escape but death. He was loved by many in this world but in his head it may have seemed superficial. Why didn't he get help then? many may ask. As a celebrity every move, every stint in rehab, every drs. visit is scrutinized under the public eye. Maybe he didn't want to hear the judgement and remarks people make concerning depression on just a normal daily basis. I myself have heard several and let me tell you it keeps me from talking about it.
  I got help. Through medication I have stabilized. Through a year and a half of therapy I am making strides in my way of thinking. I have a long way to go and I still have moments when I am depressed but it isn't hopeless anymore. I wish he was given that chance. Respect his families wish for privacy they now have to deal with the aftermath. I am sure he is now asking God what the deal is with the platypus and seeing in Heaven how much he truly was loved and will be missed. To quote OPM
" Don't be ashamed of who are and how you died, I know you just wanted to find the brighter side."
     

Thanks For the laughs Mr. Williams. You will stay with us forever and I will not say good bye. I will say save a spot for me in the audience.

My little Pi Rho

My oldest daughter is a quiet, shy introvert who does not socialize very much so I want to take this opportunity to put the spotlight on her and something she loves to do.  Last year as a freshman she joined the schools robotics team. She even lettered in it.  

 She remained the treasurer for the team this year and I will be honest I just thought it was a little thing. I was so wrong. FIRST is a worldwide robotics program that starts in elementary schools! YES ELEMENTARY! The encourage and support these kids in ways I didn't imagine. Every year they put out the years course and the kids develop the robots to get the goals and such done. I am not explaining this 100% correctly but I don't have her here for technical terms. 

The team built this robot and made it to regionals....

Now here's the kicker most of the teams they were up against, 50 + kids on ONE team. We have 10 with 6 being able to attend regionals. These kids don't even have the sponsers they need and they had to raise money in 3 days to be able to go. They managed, so I signed up to be chaperone and off we went....here's the course.

My daughters team drivers are the ones in the top hats  

We had a broken robot for a match...

After the 2 days of qualifiers and first round of finals we took the team to red robin for dinner... 

The team and their buttons...and capes one of the boys made.

The darling daughter.... 

The team and the parents that were there. 

These guys did awesome they placed 35 out of 152. Doesn't sound like much but for the teams they were up against these kids did amazing! I couldn't be prouder and the girl lettered again and is VP for her Junior year.  Way to go baby girl.

ECCC 2014

I have been so far behind in blogging that I realized I had not shared our comic con pictu.res! What the heck?!? The highlight of my year and I didn't share that? What the heck is wrong with me? LOL

This year there was only one person on my list for must have autographs and that was Steven Yeun or Glenn from The Walking Dead. He backed out last minute and was replaced with Tyrese. While I love Tyrese it just wasn't the same. I did shake the mans hand tho so that was cool.

I also met the King of geekdom himself Mark Shepard. If you don't know who that is you need to turn in your geek card. He has been in everything from X-files to his current roll of Crowley in Supernatural. I love Mark Shepard! While I did get his autograph, it wasn't for me it was for my Supernatural obsessed friend Cassie. I got her Misha Collins last year. I was happy to get the the chance to tell Mr.Shepard what an awesome actor I think he is. 

On with the pictures so I didn't get much of the cosplay this year. but here it goes. Of course Star Wars!

My youngest getting beat on by assassins

We went and saw the Lego Exhibit this year and so I took a lot of pics there starting with  Lord of the Rings.. isn't that water fabulous?

The fellowship in Rivendell

Complete Batcave

The Jokers Funhouse

My husband favorite Harley Quinn

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle lair...

On our way down to the model exhibit I saw this awesome piece of art work...

Models ...

Hobbit and Legolas Cosplay

Michelle and her friend at the Whose Line Is It Anyway? Panel

Dr. Who ...

My older brother and I managed to get my baby brother Jamesy up here for 2 days to join us so of course we had to take him to the waterfront...

My 2 goofy brothers on the Seattle Great Wheel

At the gum wall...lol my family hates pictures from the gum wall...

Pike's Place market...

It was a really awesome weekend and believe it or not the only swag I walked away with was copic markers and a free swag bag from the Supernatural panel. Can't wait till next year!