Saturday, July 25, 2015

Remembering hope...

   I did something I said I would never do again. I got another tattoo. It so wasn't planned.  I want to tell you the story behind my piece of artwork and why it means so much to me. In April of 2013, I was diagnosed with clinical depression. I always had bouts of sadness since single digits of age that I did not understand. It got worse as a teen. I learned to hide behind a mask of I'm fine. October 2012 began a spiral of despair. I sought help in April after spending months crying , in bed, ignoring everyone and everything.
       One thing I do remember is my youngest daughter coming home one day and telling me about the semi- colon project in about November. I was so touched. You can read more about the movement  and story here. I toyed with the idea of a tattoo of the semi-colon but I wanted it to mean so much more so I never gave it a lot of thought. Fast forward to last week....I am sitting in my kitchen working on a puzzle with my friend Erin and her daughter when I came across this article about one of our favorite actors.  Yes I was being that awful friend checking facebook. 

{PAUSE} This is going to sound very fan girlish, but I halfheartedly keep up with the actors from Supernatural because they are generous, charitable human beings using their fame for good. And the TV show is AMAZING! {UNPAUSE}

That article can be seen here and here. After reading those, putting on a suck it up you cant cry in front of people face I handed my phone to Erin, who got misty eyed and I said Don't if you start , I'll start and I won't be able to stop.  Lucky for me she was a trooper. I knew right then though that is what I wanted paired with my semi-colon. I drew this up the next day...

   The flat line in the beginning is representing the months I lost, the blip representing the help I received and I wanted the wording to look like a heartbeat ending in the famous semi-colon. I have had mostly positive feedback about it from random strangers who know what the semi colon represents and was called an inspiration. I don't see it that way. This is my visual hope to not let this illness win the war, because even as I write this I am having a down day. It sucks and it affects everyone in family on these days. But we troop on and we #Alwayskeepfighting.


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