Christina's Creative Expressions: Depression Sucks

The death of one of the greatest actors comedians ever, Mr. Robin Williams, shook me to my core yesterday. When I read it was suicide I died a little inside. When I read it was caused by depression it took everything in me not to start bawling in the movie theater. I was reading a lot of we had no idea, or he had so much to live for. Depression can affect anyone , at any time , at any age, and is a silent killer as we now know. One quote I always see from him everywhere is

now I am not saying his family didn't love him. I am not saying he didn't love them. I am not even hinting they had marital issues. What I am saying is maybe they didn't get it. I have a husband who loves me endlessly but he doesn't get my depression and that feeling that you are all alone in world is quite overwhelming.
In HIS head there was no escape but death. He was loved by many in this world but in his head it may have seemed superficial. Why didn't he get help then? many may ask. As a celebrity every move, every stint in rehab, every drs. visit is scrutinized under the public eye. Maybe he didn't want to hear the judgement and remarks people make concerning depression on just a normal daily basis. I myself have heard several and let me tell you it keeps me from talking about it.
I got help. Through medication I have stabilized. Through a year and a half of therapy I am making strides in my way of thinking. I have a long way to go and I still have moments when I am depressed but it isn't hopeless anymore. I wish he was given that chance. Respect his families wish for privacy they now have to deal with the aftermath. I am sure he is now asking God what the deal is with the platypus and seeing in Heaven how much he truly was loved and will be missed. To quote OPM
" Don't be ashamed of who are and how you died, I know you just wanted to find the brighter side."

Thanks For the laughs Mr. Williams. You will stay with us forever and I will not say good bye. I will say save a spot for me in the audience.

3 comments:

Queenie Jeannie said...: Big, big hugs, Christina!!! You KNOW I get it. I was saved, where many were not so lucky. Depression and grief can overwhelm you and make everything look black and hopeless. Sometimes the need to end the pain is all you can even see. If you haven't "been there", you just don't even have a clue.; 12 August, 2014 12:03
Denice said...: My heart sank on the day I heard the news about Robin Williams. Depression is so dark and lonely....my prayers that your own struggles lessen! Sending (((BIG HUGS))) your way.; 13 August, 2014 16:09
Bridgett Owens said...: As a nurse, I find it so incredibly sad that with the millions and millions of dollars spent on research, and in one of the finest countries on earth, we are still seeing many people struggling with this debilitating disease and are often misjudged, misunderstood, and even misdiagnosed. My heart aches because I have known the deep, dark pit of depression and the stigma that it leaves on you. I am glad you are doing better Christina. Perhaps his death will shed some light on depression and maybe many can get help... turning a tragic situation into something more positive and meaningful.; 18 October, 2014 19:38