Do you see what I see?

 2 days ago, one of my dearest friends from high school (she was actually one of my 2 high school BF's. We were like the 3 musketeers!) was visiting her fiancee (who is stationed here) for the holidays, invited me over for lunch.  I have not seen her in seriously 18 years. Of course during the 3 hour lunch LOL we really kinda cleared the air about how we viewed our falling out. This started a conversation about our perceptions of our BFFhood and how they (and others) viewed me.

  

 She remembers me as a confident, doing what I want, not trying to fit in anyone's mold, hottie of our group. The one who got all the guys and grades without trying and loving my life. I think my jaw broke from hitting the floor. I believe my reply was well nice to know this wall of mine works that well.

  Here's how I viewed my life...in the background. One no one gave a second thought to. I struggled with confidence with guys and trying to fit in. I just could not reach that level of coolness. I still view myself that way. Her turned to be shocked. In fact, I told her this is why I do not go to reunions no one would remember me. She surprised me again by telling me people ACTUALLY ask about me. SMH. 

The point of this story is in learning how others view us maybe we as women can learn to let go of the self hate. This video grabs my heart every single time because while there are those who are confident and self loving I believe the percentage of women who are not happy with themselves would shock us.

Did you know in girls ages 10-14, 77% of them use negative terms to describe themselves? As adults we know in our heads that the photos of models and celebrities are photo shopped ,air brushed and altered, but does that stop us from wanting to look like perceived image? NO! Every time I see an article about how plus size anything causes an uproar it pisses me off. Only in the fashion world is a size 10 plus size. That in showing that we are telling our kids its ok to be fat. I call BS! My own daughter is not a size 10 , she has my genetics, and I do not view her as fat at all. But because she is not a size 2 and dresses how she likes and not like an ad from Aero she is labeled as fat and weird.
She tells me whatever and continues to dress how she wants. I love that about her. And maybe just maybe I can take a lesson out of the viewpoints others have of me and learn to at least like myself!

PS Here is how Lane Bryant made out with their "sexy" plus size commercial...