Saturday, October 9, 2010

52 blessings - 40

This weeks blessing is seriously a no brainer. It is strength in faith. Without it I seriously would be a melted mess of emotions still. I have had possibly one of the worst weeks I have ever had. It started out good, fabulous in fact. I was going strong feeling good about my progress in the gym and life in general. Started my Christmas shopping....enter Thursday. My brothers wife lost the baby. My heart shattered. I cried all day. I cried a couple of times Friday. My brother was really looking forward to this.

TO truly understand why this upsets me so much I have to explain to you that my baby brother is only 5 years older then my son. When we took Ryan somewhere he was with us, I was the one who taught my baby brother his alphabet, his numbers , and played hours of games with him. He truly was my first"kid". My heart was breaking to see my brother in so much pain. My head kept saying it wasn't meant to be, God has his reasons. Even if my heart didn't want to listen.

So I am still emotional Friday, but calming down after talking to my brother. Then at 3 pm I get a phone call from the asst. principal of the middle school where both my girls attend. My baby girl has been the victim of high end bullying with threats to kill her and her family the first time and she says they held a knife to her throat the 2nd time. This all happened in the last 2 weeks and she was truly fearful. She had the courage to tell a counselor because she was afraid to walk home. It sucks that she didn't say anything to us , but she did it out of fear for us not because she didn't trust us.

I could chose to be angry at God for allowing this to happen. I am not though I am thankful He touched her heart enough to have the courage to tell SOMEONE. I am not seeing her as a victim, I am seeing her as a hero for anyone these kids may have bullied in the past and kids she is saving from future torment. This is all part of His greater design. I may not understand it and I may not even like it, but He knows what He doing and wouldn't give us anything we can not handle. We will be a better family because of these trials and that is truly a major blessing.

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