Thursday, January 20, 2011


For the last 3 months I have been feeling like an over grown slug. I was doing so good going to the gym everyday, eating well, loving life. I recently wondered what the heck happened that made me stop caring and gain a ton of weight. I mean there is always a root issue. Then it hit me like a mac started in October. My friend who was my gym buddy stopped going to the gym. Ok not a major problem I mean after all I do have workout DVDs . Well then she stopped wanting to go to weight watchers because she couldn't get her weight down. Again ok not really anything to do with me. But then I realized it started with the loss of my potential niece or nephew. My brothers life has literally been a mess since then and because I am so close to him I worry...A LOT!

This got me thinking why do I let others issues literally weigh me down? I mean I love my brother sure .I can still be there for him. Why do I take their issues and eat myself into feeling like a 500 pound biggest loser contestant? I don't have an answer but I need to take a big girl pill and stop letting it get to me and stop the cycle of self loathing. It's hard ..very hard. Like I was telling myself this last night stop doing this it's not healthy ,you don't need to be eating everything in sight...all while stuffing down Ritz. Enter the self loathing.....

I need to refocus and it's gonna be hard. I just hope I can find the strength to take the first few steps I know need to be done.

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