Sunday, December 27, 2009

Word of the year



Last year I embarked on a word for the year journey in which I had read about through my scrapbook magazines.
The project is to choose a word and live it, breath it, believe it through the year.
Well I picked faith, and I tell you when all things failed I turned to that word and discovered I can find faith in everything.
Well on YaYa's blog today she is doing the same thing and with her struggle with infertility and adoption process she chose a wonderful word for herself.
This year I choose

forgive.

I have struggled with a lot of self issues that I thought I was over until something triggered it last week. I honestly could not stop crying or "get over it". Thinking of it right now even is like opening a huge hole in my chest.
Have you read the Twilight books? The best way to describe it is the same way Bella felt when Edward left.
There is no escaping it.
Yes it has even triggered suicidal thoughts in the past.
But I realize that until I can forgive the people who caused this pai
n and
feelings of being unworthy I will never get over it.
SO I hope to get the strength to forgive even if I can not totally forget because in forgiveness we truly can begin to feel again.


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